is the end near?

i swear if it isn't here soon, i will seriously consider being induced....

i've never been so tired in my entire life

i've never been so uncomfortable in my entire life

i've never wanted to just HAVE this baby already in my entire life.... ok so that one was a stretch... but seriously. i would be so happy to just go into labor in the next two weeks and be done with this whole pregnancy bit for a little, er LONG while.

the unfair part: these last few weeks you're tired from lugging around extra weight on the front of your body, you're tired from picking up your 16 month old and lugging HIM and THE EXTRA weight up and down the steps, you're tired well just because you can be and you're tired from lack of comfortable sleep positions.... yes sleep has pretty much all gone to hell. i had a bad sleep patch about a month or so ago. that made me crabby.... then i was sleeping all wonderfully again until last week sometime. since then i have started to not be able to fall asleep until 1:30 then 2 then somewhere around 3 and 3:30 then 4.... then last night the king of all crappy nights of sleep, 5 - yes that's FIVE AM! i then woke up promptly at 8 am and dozed off again until 9. thank god for chris who is still on winter break so he got up with max and fed him breakfast but i could hear them and thus i was fully awakened by that time.

three hours of sleep is really not very helpful. 3 hours means i'm crabby mommy and crabby wifey. and no one appreciates either of those two people. including me.

we've tried a few tricks. one, being that we swapped sides of the bed that we sleep on. see over the summer, we got a new bed and moved it's position in the room. because of it's new position and the position of our closets, chris and i swapped sides. it took about a week to adjust but we were doing just fine since then. however i realized a few nights ago that i prefer to sleep on my left side, that means i'm facing him and he's breathing on me or in my direction and that's just icky. so i suggested swapping back until the baby comes. yeah, that apparently wasn't the problem since it was 5 am and i was just falling asleep.

i haven't been drinking any caffeine that would affect my sleep habits, i haven't been eating anything that would do the same.... i just can't figure out what the problem is.

chris suggested this morning that i wait as long as i can to go to bed. something that i had thought i was doing.... around 11 or so my body just needs to be horizontal. thus bed time cue right? apparently not. i considered getting up and watching some tv last night but then i thought, ugh, i would rather stick a hot poker in my eye than watch some dumb late night tv shows..... so i stuck it out and tried to fall asleep some more. and no knitting at that hour is out due to sever groggyness... see, i'm tired and so is my body i just can't get comfortable...

plus, the couch is just not comfortable anymore.... no where is... apparently the bed isn't either.... since it seems that after about 20 minutes in one position in bed, i have to toss my body to the other side and try to get comfortable all over again. this results in the most painful crotch splitting feeling ever.... i thought it was bad with max.... yeah right... it's horrible this time around.... which is sorta surprising. i feel like i could seriously just break in half. at the crotch. lovely i know but it's the truth and it hurts damn it and i want to bitch and complain about it. i think i'm allowed.

other than that... ha... things have been uneventful. max is continuing to grow in lots of new ways. we've been outside a lot these past few days since it's been so nice. he loves the freedom and loves walking up and down the sidewalk and picking up rocks and trying to navigate steps. which is all so fun to watch.

i'm looking forward to my knitting get together planned for this weekend. i haven't had any mommy only with some girlfriends time in a while. so i'm looking forward to that since it will probably be my last for a while....

as for what is on my needles, a hat for chris and another bootie for my friend. i need to get upstairs to sit at my sewing table for a few hours too in the next week or else i'm screwed in terms of a gift for a baby shower that's on the 26th.

well, it's max nap time, so that means it's mommy nap time too.

sorry for the long complaint....